Coffee is better than I thought.

So I was bored when I got up this morning because absolutely no one is at my house. So I've been using Stumble to surf the web (or the interweb, as my dad has started saying for some reason). A minute ago I stumbled onto http://www.industrialjoe.com/index.php/resources-news-links-friends/15-things-youdidnt-know-about-coffee which is very interesting because I LOVE coffee. I am a very devoted coffee drinker and basically can't make it through a morning without it. I can seriously tell a difference if I don't have it. I'm aware that is sad, but hey, it's ok according to this website!

I'm not going to copy and paste everything over there, but I here are a couple of the more interesting ones.

If you smoke or drink alcohol, then drinking coffee can lower your chances of getting heart or liver disease. WHAT?? I've been protecting myself and didn't even know it. Now the next time my conservative little sister tells me that I'm destroying my liver I'll just tell her that I'm counteracting that by drinking even more coffee than I do alcohol. Take that, little sis!

Colon cancer is not as prevalant in coffee drinkers. Are kidding me? Coffee may be able to prevent CANCER? Why hasn't anyone jumped on this and come up with a cure for cancer derived from coffee beans??

If you coursely grind coffee beans, then you can use them as an exfoliator! Rub coffee beans on your face! I'm so going to do that soon...



I am terribly, terribly bored with nothing on my mind except serious stuff and The Holiday. And vanilla vodka. So I am resorting to the dreaded survey.

1. Have you ever been searched by the cops?
Yes. Strip searched. Best cop experience ever.

2. Do you close your eyes on roller coaster?
Yeah, I wouldn't want bugs to fly into them.

3. When's the last time you've been sledding?
Last Christmas when I spent a few days at the North Pole. Buddy the Elf is a crazy sled driver.

4. Would you rather sleep with someone else, or alone?
It depends on who that someone else is. If it were Patrick Dempsey, I'd choose with someone else. If it were Big Foot, then I'd choose alone.

5. Do you believe in ghosts?
No. But I do believe in ghostbusters.

6. Do you consider yourself creative?
At times.

7. Do you think O.J. killed his wife?
Nah probably not. Didn't you see how that glove totally didn't even fit his hand? He must be innocent.

8. Jennifer Aniston or Angelina Jolie?
Is that it? There's no more to the question? Am I choosing which one should die? Which one has the prettiest hair? Who has the better boobs? I simply cannot answer this unfinished question.

9. Can you honestly say you know ANYTHING about politics?
Sure. I know there are different parties... and we vote... and people get hateful... and people get stupid...

10. Do you know how to play poker?
Yes, but my skills are questionable.

11. Have you ever been awake for 48 hours straight?
Dear God, I hope not. Amen.

12. What's your favorite commercial?
I love commercials too much to choose just one... but right now I especially enjoy the Burger Kind commercial where The King puts money in people's pockets.

13. Who was your first love?
Your dear beloved mother, biatch.

14. If you're driving in the middle of the night, and no one is around you, do you run a red light?
No. But today I flew through a stop sign on a back road because I didn't realize it was there.

15. Do you have a secret that no one knows but you?

16. Boston Red Sox or New York Yankees?
I'm wearing red socks right now.

17. Have you ever been Ice Skating?
Yeah, last Christmas at the North Pole. Buddy the Elf is a mean ice skater.

18. How often do you remember your dreams?
Very often. And they're weird.

19. What's the one thing on your mind?
One thing? Unfortunately there are many things. One random thing is what I'm going to name my future children.

20. Do you always wear your seat belt?
Nah. Only when I'm in the car.

21. What talent do you wish you had?
Standing on my head. I simply can't do it.

22. Do you like Sushi?
I tried this one kind once but I don't remember what it was called and I'm not about to try and order it and then be disappointed.

23. What do you wear to bed?

24. Do you truly hate anyone?

25. If you could sleep with one famous person, who would it be?
Michael Rosenbaum.

26. Do you know anyone in jail?

27. What food do you find disgusting?
Spam. If that even qualifies as food.

28. Have you ever made fun of your friends behind their back?
Yes. But only after I made fun of them to their face.

29. Have you ever been punched in the face?
Pssh, no.

30. Do you believe in angels and demons?
I do.


What's in a name?

In case you do have a life and hence missed the premier of America's Next Top Model, there is a girl on there named Clark. Oddly enough I like it. Clark works for a girl. But it got me thinking about what names might not work for females...

Guy - it implies the person with this name is, in fact, a dude.
Harry - it's ok for guys to be hairy, but girls?
Adam - he was the first male. Enough said.
Peter - it brings to mind a certain part of the male anatomy.
Earl - it's also a prestigious title for a male. Plus it just doesn't fit.
Fabio - well, this one might be ok since it does bring to mind a model with long, blonde, flowy hair on the cover of a slutty romance novel.
Any name beginning with an X (i.e. Xavier) - I have no explanation. I just can't imagine a girl with a name that starts with an X.

It's really hard to come up with a list of male-only names. People are naming their kids crazy names these days. What's really strange to think about is the day when kids like Apple, Cocoa, and Kingston will be naming their kids. And they'll be thinking, "I don't want to name her something like Ashley, Brittany, or Jessica because those are old people names."

I wonder if they'll start naming their kids Ethel or Penelope or Mildred because by then no one will have those names.