Showing posts with label bears. Show all posts
Showing posts with label bears. Show all posts

3.12.2013

My Bear Truth

Bears are terrifying.

I'm not one that scares easily. I've been over at friends' houses and had to be the one to kill a roach or a spider because I'm the one who doesn't panic. My favorite animals are whales, whose size and mass alone should cause fear but I only feel awe. Snakes are creepy and I'd rather not see one, but I would have no problem holding a pet snake or seeing one on TV. Bears though? Bears are of the devil and I will not tolerate them.

Sure, when they're little baby cubs, they look all cute and cuddly. But I know they'll grow up to be killers who are faster than humans and can kill you with one swipe of a claw. 

Most people see this and think "Awww, I want him as a pet!"




But all I can see is this:


Especially polar bears. Oh my god, polar bears scare the bejesus out of me. First of all, they're humongous and they have these weirdly long limbs. They are also master hunters - they hunt seals by freaking smelling their breath. Ok this is a slight exaggeration - they sniff out seal breathing holes in the ice, then lie in wait until they smell their breath, then they reach in and drag the seal out. Oh my god. They've also been known to prey on beluga whales, which is a big no-no! 

They're just super creepy...I leave you with pictures that confirm my fears.



I don't know why this is considered hilarious.