Boredom.

I am terribly, terribly bored with nothing on my mind except serious stuff and The Holiday. And vanilla vodka. So I am resorting to the dreaded survey.

1. Have you ever been searched by the cops?
Yes. Strip searched. Best cop experience ever.

2. Do you close your eyes on roller coaster?
Yeah, I wouldn't want bugs to fly into them.

3. When's the last time you've been sledding?
Last Christmas when I spent a few days at the North Pole. Buddy the Elf is a crazy sled driver.

4. Would you rather sleep with someone else, or alone?
It depends on who that someone else is. If it were Patrick Dempsey, I'd choose with someone else. If it were Big Foot, then I'd choose alone.

5. Do you believe in ghosts?
No. But I do believe in ghostbusters.

6. Do you consider yourself creative?
At times.

7. Do you think O.J. killed his wife?
Nah probably not. Didn't you see how that glove totally didn't even fit his hand? He must be innocent.

8. Jennifer Aniston or Angelina Jolie?
Is that it? There's no more to the question? Am I choosing which one should die? Which one has the prettiest hair? Who has the better boobs? I simply cannot answer this unfinished question.

9. Can you honestly say you know ANYTHING about politics?
Sure. I know there are different parties... and we vote... and people get hateful... and people get stupid...

10. Do you know how to play poker?
Yes, but my skills are questionable.

11. Have you ever been awake for 48 hours straight?
Dear God, I hope not. Amen.

12. What's your favorite commercial?
I love commercials too much to choose just one... but right now I especially enjoy the Burger Kind commercial where The King puts money in people's pockets.

13. Who was your first love?
Your dear beloved mother, biatch.

14. If you're driving in the middle of the night, and no one is around you, do you run a red light?
No. But today I flew through a stop sign on a back road because I didn't realize it was there.

15. Do you have a secret that no one knows but you?
No.

16. Boston Red Sox or New York Yankees?
I'm wearing red socks right now.

17. Have you ever been Ice Skating?
Yeah, last Christmas at the North Pole. Buddy the Elf is a mean ice skater.

18. How often do you remember your dreams?
Very often. And they're weird.

19. What's the one thing on your mind?
One thing? Unfortunately there are many things. One random thing is what I'm going to name my future children.

20. Do you always wear your seat belt?
Nah. Only when I'm in the car.

21. What talent do you wish you had?
Standing on my head. I simply can't do it.

22. Do you like Sushi?
I tried this one kind once but I don't remember what it was called and I'm not about to try and order it and then be disappointed.

23. What do you wear to bed?
Panties.

24. Do you truly hate anyone?
Nah.

25. If you could sleep with one famous person, who would it be?
Michael Rosenbaum.

26. Do you know anyone in jail?
No.

27. What food do you find disgusting?
Spam. If that even qualifies as food.

28. Have you ever made fun of your friends behind their back?
Yes. But only after I made fun of them to their face.

29. Have you ever been punched in the face?
Pssh, no.

30. Do you believe in angels and demons?
I do.