Choices.

Lately I've been thinking a lot about the choices we make in life. Life is full of choices. What seems like a bad choice can lead to good. And what seems like a good choice can lead to bad. How do we know the difference? How can we judge people based on their choices when we don't know what they're going through or why they made that choice? How do we know what seems like a horrible decision isn't actually the best decision they could make? Who's to say you wouldn't make the same exact choice if you were in their shoes?

I grew up believing that life hands you a few Major Choices that will change the course of your life. Choices like whether or not to go to college, which college to go to, what career path to take, who you marry, whether or not/when to have kids, where to settle and put down roots. I also fully believed that you should make these Major Choices based on how much happiness they will bring you. Which, in part, is true. But this takes me back to the fact that your choice might seem like the best way to make you happy right now, but then later on you might realize it was the worst possible choice you could have made, and vice versa. In the moment, there's no possible way to know if you're doing the right thing or choosing the right path. Which leads me to my new modified belief...

The major choices you make in life do not directly correlate to your happiness. The only choice that directly correlates to your happiness is choosing whether or not to be happy. Happiness is a choice all in itself. Now I'm putting aside the extreme cases, like the fact that someone might have an actual chemical imbalance that causes depression, or someone who is in a physically harmful situation...for the average person, happiness is a choice. Period. Even when you're going through your darkest hour, you don't have to give up everything and quit. Find joy in the little things that aren't affected by the darkness.

One choice that I have made that a lot of people don't consider one of the Major Choices, is to not treat friendships lightly. I've seen other people go through friends like some women go through purses. They love them at first and go everywhere with them, but after a while they get bored and toss them aside for a new friend. At some point I made a conscious decision not to do that, despite those hurdles that every friendship goes through:

I chose to stick by a friend when they chose to enter into a damaging relationship that I didn't understand, and it made us stronger than ever.

I chose a friendship with someone after I'd been led to believe that they weren't a good person...by someone who really wasn't a good person...and we became closer than I had ever been with the not-so-good person. :-)

I chose not to let something that hurt my feelings damage a friendship that I truly valued and I still can't imagine a life without that friendship.

I chose to pursue a friendship with someone who was quiet and a little shy, but was rewarded when they turned out to be one of the most fun people I know.

I chose to have a relationship with someone who doesn't share all of the same beliefs I have, and in return that relationship has opened me up to a love beyond my wildest dreams.

This blog isn't about religion or relying on God to see you through things. It's about the little choices you make every day that shape your life and your happiness.

I'm a big kid now.

I'm 25 years old. In legal terms, I've been an adult for 7 years. But for some reason, over the past couple months, I've felt more adult than ever.

1. I got married. That's a pretty adult thing to do, right? I know we were living together for a year beforehand. And I have friends who say they didn't feel any different after getting married. But not me. I most definitely felt different. I made a huge commitment! I chose to commit myself to the man I love for the rest of my life and that is exhilarating. There are still moments that take my breath away when I realize all over again that I'm lucky enough to spend my days with JP.

2. I got a new job. Sure, working any job is very "adult-like," but realizing you're unhappy and then taking steps to secure a new and better job is even more adult-like. It's amazing how much your job can impact your life. I'm an easy-going person and I'm a good worker. But at my last job, I was so unhappy. I used to leave work depressed and would wonder what I was doing here. I was miserable. So I took control of my life and found a new job - now I'm working at a hospital with out-of-this-world benefits, I can afford medical AND dental insurance for me AND JP, and I'm happy. I enjoy my job. Now I leave work happy and excited to be living in NYC again. (Oh and I wear a lab coat and get to have a locker. WIN.)

3. I cook. No, even more than that...I like to cook. One of my favorite things to do in my down time is look up new tasty recipes to try. My recent successes include fried zucchini, zucchini pasta, shortbread cookies, cinnamon rolls, chicken teryaki, fried chicken nuggets... It's so. Much. Fun.

4. My wardrobe has subtly shifted. I mean, I still wear a lot of the same stuff, but lately when I buy clothes it's different. I buy tops that are a little more loose fitting and I buy dress pants (and think I might would actually wear them outside of work). I like it.

So yeah. Here's to being married for 86 days. And acting like an adult.

Christmastime is here!!

Christmas has come. To New York City.

[Huge, long side note: In my head I phrased those two sentences the same way Ms. Gupta phrases her famous line from Princess Diaries. She answers the phone and says, "Gupta...mm-hm...mm-hm...mm-hm.......The queen is coming. To Grove High School."]

Anyway, back to Christmas. It's awesome. Everywhere I go there are decorations, big and small. And it's COLD. Yesterday I went into the city and could not believe I'd left my gloves and earmuffs at home! My face and fingers were numb. This is how the Christmas season should be!

On Thanksgiving (after I got home from the Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade!) we ate our little Thanksgiving meal and then put up a tree!! It's only 2 ft tall, but who cares. It's a tree! And it's super cute. In case you can't tell, the base of it is a little red boot trimmed in white.
Bless JP for putting up with me and my crazy decorating. It seems like every couple of days I either come home with something new or I discover something else I had packed away. Today I went out for eggs and came back with stockings to hang (they're tiny ones that were only $.99, so don't judge me). The only other thing I really want to get is some sort of wreath to hang on the door. One of my favorite decorations? The light-up Santa head from Sylvia and Laura. LOVE IT.I'm also thinking that Christmas shopping is going to be so much easier (and surprisingly cheaper!) here in New York. There are so many options for unique gifts for not a lot of money. I'm getting really excited about shopping for gifts. I've started a list.

What do you want for Christmas this year?

It's a trap!

I've changed a lot in the last couple of years. I can't decide if it's for the better or not...and I attribute the particular change I'm going to talk about here to JP and Colby. They would definitely say it's for the better.

I've done two things I thought I would never do. Read the entire Harry Potter series (something I actually swore I would never do) and watch the entire Star Wars saga (which I just never did seem to get around to).

Colby and I were not immediately close when we first met. We were both cast in Beauty in the Beast at MLT. I met her at call backs, and we ended being cast into two different groups. She was a napkin/wolf and I was a silly girl/dish. I bonded with my fellow silly girls and she with her napkins. However, one of my first memories of her involves her and at least one of the other napkins singing the song from Potter Puppet Pals in the dressing room.

It took me 3 years to finally read the series, and it finally happened after JP and I started dating and he and Colby would have lengthy, detailed conversations about what house I belong it. I had no clue what they meant and finally I had had it. JP went on tour, he owned the first 3 books in the series, and I had time on my hands, so I thought what the heck. I read the first 2 and figured that I probably wouldn't feel the need to buy the ones that come after 3. But then I read the third one...and I was hooked. I was very depressed about being hooked because I had abstained for so long (and maybe also because I spent grocery money on the last 4 book at Barnes & Noble)! The series really is very well written - the best part is how seemingly small things you learn in the first two books end up being super important by the end. Just really well written all the way around. (Side note: I hate the HP movies.)

But I still don't know that Potter Puppet Pals song by heart.

As far as Star Wars goes, I did really like them. My favorite moments were when I would ask a question and then JP would proceed to answer with big words that didn't seem to ever be mentioned in the actual movies...he's read all sorts of extra literature that explains all things Star Wars. The best part about having watched these movies is the fact that I now understand all of the Star Wars jokes out there!

In fact, here's a commercial that would not have been funny at all if I had not seen Star Wars. Ole Miss is currently without a mascot and is trying to decide on a new one (also something I would not have known if not for JP).



Let me also add, that I would be all about going to Dragon*Con if given the opportunity.

Who am I????

Time's slipping away.

I feel like the time is just FLYING by. Just a little over 4 months until I'm officially Mrs. Ashlee Haynie.

Work is going well. I'm enjoying my new job, though it took me a few weeks to get used to. It's still very much a learning process, but enjoyable for the most part.

JP and I started a couple of registries at Bed, Bath & Beyond and Target. At first we couldn't seem to think of much to register for, since we recently moved in together so most of our things are either brand new or very gently used. But after the initial searching, my love of having new things took over and suddenly everything that wasn't brand new needed to be replaced! Thank goodness for JP, who is oh-so-logical about every choice. And every once in a while one of us will say, "Man, it's too bad we don't have a [insert object here, i.e., mattress pad, heating pad, ironing board]" and then the other will exclaim, "Add it to the registry!"

For those who don't know, JP was recently cast as an extra in Men in Black III (I was tempted to use the line from Superstar about having a chance to "be an extra in a film with positive moral values" just now). They've been using him as a model to build different alien creatures for the extras in the movie. The transformations have been pretty awesome and I can't wait to be able to post pictures! I'm so proud of him!
My mom and grandmother surprised me with a unexpected visit a couple of weeks ago. They flew in on a Wednesday and left on a Sunday. It was so cool to have them here! I did not take nearly enough pictures! I don't know how that happened, but when I loaded them onto my computer, it looked like we only visited two places. And we definitely did more than that.

Firsts.

I recently had a first time experience.

Well a couple of first time experiences. First, I went to Magnolia Bakery with my friend Kaitlin. I had some vanilla bean cheesecake. It was very good, but it didn't beat cheesecake from Junior's!

So anyway, afterward I got back on the subway. I was over on the west side, an area I'm NEVER in. But as I walked onto the train and headed to sit down, I heard my name! I looked around and there was Katie, a girl I knew through my friend Molly. We couldn't believe running into each other - I mean think about how many things have to line up for that to happen! There are so many different cars, so many different lines...crazy.

I like it when New York shrinks...just a little.

It's hot! Daddy told ya...

It's about that time again. Time for family to start pouring in. My bro Brandon and his girlfriend Xan (that name rocks, by the way) are arriving Thursday and then my siblings Kaley and Elijah are coming in next week. Yay!!!! I love having family visit and introducing them to my life here.

In other news it's HOT. I recently told a friend of mine that New Yorkers are just babies and that it's not really hot, compared to Georgia, but I SOOOOOOOOO take that back!! (Also...no offense to my New York friends.) Apparently the temperature yesterday broke a record. I think it's gotten up to 104 this week? I know Georgia understands this, but in Georgia you get to leave your air conditioned work place and get into your (hopefully) air conditioned cars to travel to yet another air conditioned building. Here I have to walk to the bus stop in the heat, wait for the bus (sometimes a good 20-30 minutes on bad days) in the heat, walk to the subway in the heat, then walk to my office in the heat. Thank goodness we have an air conditioner in at least one room. And thank goodness the temperature will go down sooner than it would in Georgia. Haha.

Speaking of the heat, it was pretty hot on the Fourth of July, but we had fun anyway. It was a bit of a worlds colliding day since it was three different groups of friends who somehow ended up hanging out together. It was a lot of fun. We went out to Governor's Island to see She and Him in concert for free! If you don't know She and Him, it's Matt Ward and Zooey Deschanel (from Elf and also 500 Days of Summer). They're so great! Despite the heat, they were worth the wait. Lots of fun.